Yesterday in class, we lifted a line from a poem and just used that to start our writing. Here was mine. I loved it because it is about the one I love most in this world.
Do You Remember When?
Do you remember when? I do.
I remember a time when the world was full of possibilities.
I remember looking forward to my adventure after graduating college.
I remember dreaming of being an independent woman with endless opportunities.
Think Sex and the City Texas style.
Do you remember the time you knew everything about your life was changing? I do.
I remember starting a journey I never bought tickets for.
I remember landing in a place I never wanted to go.
I remember being scared and disappointed as I was forced to cross over to the unknown.
Do you remember when? I do.
I remember realizing life, the good and the bad, was all a part of God's plan.
I remember realizing my mistake is my greatest joy.
I remember having goose bumps thinking of what I would have missed if I had let my fear make the decision.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Perspective
I am taking a 12 day writing workshop. Yesterday was the first day and I love it. We are becoming better writers to become better writing teachers. I signed up last summer but dropped it after a day. I was about a week out from my surgery and it seemed too much. I know know it had nothing to do with my surgery. My heart wasn't in it. I was bored by 10:00am and all I could think about was going home. I wasn't ready to share my writing with others or to try different strategies with an open mind. I had nothing to write about.
This summer I have a lot to write about. I turn most of my free writing into a conversation with the Lord. It is a great group of ladies in the class. We love to laugh and also feel comfortable sharing. It is amazing what you see with an open mind!
I called my daughter's dad yesterday and offered for her to come be with him on Father's Day. I know at school this week they are talking about Father's Day and want her to get to see her daddy. Her Nan (great, great grandma) is turning 93 on the 30th. I also wanted her to be with her on her birthday. The bond between the two of them is amazing. I want my daughter to spend all the time she can with her Nan. For some crazy reason I thought Father's Day was Sunday and Nan's birthday on the 30th was THE FOLLOWING Thursday. I thought my baby bear would be gone 1 week. I realize now there is a week in between. She is also staying with her daddy July 10-21 when I go to Destin and have a workshop out of town. Her dad always wants to keep her a long as he can. He said he would give up Father's Day so she could be there for Nan's birthday, if I didn't want her to be gone from home so long. Of course, I said she can be there for both. It is hard because he lives 4 hrs away so she cannot just go for the weekend. She will be gone 2 weeks, home for 10 days, and gone for another 11 days.
I have to remind myself that it is not about me and what I need. It is about her. I know she is safe there, gets to see lots of extended family, and gets to form a strong foundation with her dad and his family. It is hard for her to be gone so long but it is no easier when I think of all her dad has sacrificed. Hard to say 2 weeks is too long even though you drive here for the day to spend an afternoon with her. 2 weeks is too long even though you have never had her on Christmas, etc. His job is flexible now. She has not started school. This is the time she can go spend a few weeks here and there.
Baby Bear has really been growing up. She will be 5 at the end of September. I am so glad she will not start Kindergarten until next year. She has been listening so much better and learning to just say OK when I ask her to do something. We have been working really hard on not "talking back" and how we cannot just throw a fit when we don't like something. I have been enjoying spending time with her a lot lately. We seem to have left some of the terrible 2's that were really 3-4's behind. I know school being out for the summer has given me WAY more time and patience with her. I am still amazed of the all consuming love I feel for her.
This summer I have a lot to write about. I turn most of my free writing into a conversation with the Lord. It is a great group of ladies in the class. We love to laugh and also feel comfortable sharing. It is amazing what you see with an open mind!
I called my daughter's dad yesterday and offered for her to come be with him on Father's Day. I know at school this week they are talking about Father's Day and want her to get to see her daddy. Her Nan (great, great grandma) is turning 93 on the 30th. I also wanted her to be with her on her birthday. The bond between the two of them is amazing. I want my daughter to spend all the time she can with her Nan. For some crazy reason I thought Father's Day was Sunday and Nan's birthday on the 30th was THE FOLLOWING Thursday. I thought my baby bear would be gone 1 week. I realize now there is a week in between. She is also staying with her daddy July 10-21 when I go to Destin and have a workshop out of town. Her dad always wants to keep her a long as he can. He said he would give up Father's Day so she could be there for Nan's birthday, if I didn't want her to be gone from home so long. Of course, I said she can be there for both. It is hard because he lives 4 hrs away so she cannot just go for the weekend. She will be gone 2 weeks, home for 10 days, and gone for another 11 days.
I have to remind myself that it is not about me and what I need. It is about her. I know she is safe there, gets to see lots of extended family, and gets to form a strong foundation with her dad and his family. It is hard for her to be gone so long but it is no easier when I think of all her dad has sacrificed. Hard to say 2 weeks is too long even though you drive here for the day to spend an afternoon with her. 2 weeks is too long even though you have never had her on Christmas, etc. His job is flexible now. She has not started school. This is the time she can go spend a few weeks here and there.
Baby Bear has really been growing up. She will be 5 at the end of September. I am so glad she will not start Kindergarten until next year. She has been listening so much better and learning to just say OK when I ask her to do something. We have been working really hard on not "talking back" and how we cannot just throw a fit when we don't like something. I have been enjoying spending time with her a lot lately. We seem to have left some of the terrible 2's that were really 3-4's behind. I know school being out for the summer has given me WAY more time and patience with her. I am still amazed of the all consuming love I feel for her.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
BYOC
BYOC
How and why did you first start blogging? And how long have you been blogging?
I guess I have been blogging for close to a year. I started reading Lap Band forums and would click on links to other blogs. Blogging helps me get rid of the blahs.
Tell me about your perfect mate – if you could invent him/her?
Definitely someone I can emotionally, spiritually, and of course physically connect with. I need someone who wants God to be apart of their everyday life and their relationship. I have never had a relationship like that so am not exactly sure how it would be BUT want that in a mate. Manners and compassion are a must. I cannot stand the personality type of always blaming everyone else but never taking responsibility for your own actions. Love tall men. Oh yeah and it is a deal breaker if they do not believe dogs should live inside or do not like dogs!
Do you wear fake eyelashes? Do you want to? Do you use glue or self-stick ones? Do you like how they look?
Nope and I never will. I would love longer lashes but do not like fake ones.
Let’s say money was no object and neither was time off to recover – are you an advocate of plastic surgery after weight loss?
Like anything in life, if it is for the right reasons and responsible decision than of course. If you will never be happy and will become addicted than no.
Repeat question. Summarize your week in blog land and in real life. In real life, I am getting used to being off for the Summer. I enjoy the extra time but will be in workshops the next 3 weeks. My daughter has been listening soooo much better and I have enjoyed spending time with her.
In blogland, I am trying to post and comment more. I always feel better getting my feelings out there and reading others who struggle as well.
How and why did you first start blogging? And how long have you been blogging?
I guess I have been blogging for close to a year. I started reading Lap Band forums and would click on links to other blogs. Blogging helps me get rid of the blahs.
Tell me about your perfect mate – if you could invent him/her?
Definitely someone I can emotionally, spiritually, and of course physically connect with. I need someone who wants God to be apart of their everyday life and their relationship. I have never had a relationship like that so am not exactly sure how it would be BUT want that in a mate. Manners and compassion are a must. I cannot stand the personality type of always blaming everyone else but never taking responsibility for your own actions. Love tall men. Oh yeah and it is a deal breaker if they do not believe dogs should live inside or do not like dogs!
Do you wear fake eyelashes? Do you want to? Do you use glue or self-stick ones? Do you like how they look?
Nope and I never will. I would love longer lashes but do not like fake ones.
Let’s say money was no object and neither was time off to recover – are you an advocate of plastic surgery after weight loss?
Like anything in life, if it is for the right reasons and responsible decision than of course. If you will never be happy and will become addicted than no.
Repeat question. Summarize your week in blog land and in real life. In real life, I am getting used to being off for the Summer. I enjoy the extra time but will be in workshops the next 3 weeks. My daughter has been listening soooo much better and I have enjoyed spending time with her.
In blogland, I am trying to post and comment more. I always feel better getting my feelings out there and reading others who struggle as well.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Perfect Description of Where I Am
What Your Bariatric Surgeon Forgot to Tell You That Will Cause Weight Gain
A significant number of people who undergo bariatric surgery for weight loss will at some point regain some of the weight they lost initially with surgery. Patients who stray from the high protein diet prescribed by weight loss surgery nutritionists to eat simple processed carbohydrates, called slurry foods, are likely to gain weight. Learn why.
By Kaye Bailey
This year nearly 250,000 Americans will undergo a bariatric weight loss surgery procedure that will alter the digestive system so significantly it will cause them to lose a dramatic amount of weight rather quickly as they engage in battle against obesity, the leading cause of preventable death in this country. Down the road a startling number of these same people will begin to regain weight and they will naively think the weight loss surgery has failed. In most cases the surgery has not failed: the weight gain can be blamed on excessive consumption of slurry food, something most patients were never warned about before going under the knife.
Slurry food, more commonly described as slider food,is a watery liquid food solution of simple processed carbohydrates containing scant nutritional value. The substance usually comes from crackers, pretzels, cracker snacks, popcorn, cheese snacks, potato chips or tortilla chips, or sugar-free cookies, cakes, and candy. The foods are chewed and washed down with liquids into the surgical stomach pouch where the gastric muscles churn them into slurry which slips directly into the intestine to be quickly processed and stored as body fat. Patients of all bariatric weight loss procedures including gastric bypass, adjustable gastric banding (lap-band), and gastric sleeve, are prone to weight gain if copious amounts of slurry food are consumed.
Surgeons instruct patients prior to weight loss surgery about the Four Rules of surgery. In short the Four Rules mandate a high protein diet, drinking lots of water, no snacking and following a daily exercise program. Masked between eating a high protein diet and no snacking is the unstated consequence that eating empty carbohydrate snack foods washed down with liquids results in weight gain. Bariatric surgery works to cause weight loss because it restricts the amount of energy (food) that can be consumed and in many procedures it inhibits the body's ability to absorb nutrients from food therefore disallowing storage of excess body fat.
After surgery many bariatric patients find the restrictive feeling following eating to be uncomfortable, yet it is the very nature of the surgical gastric pouch to cause a tight restricted feeling after a small amount of solid food has been consumed. This signals the patient to stop eating. Uncomfortable with this restricted feeling, many patients turn to softer processed simple carbohydrates or junk food that can be washed down with liquids creating slurry. The uncomfortable restricted feeling never occurs and patients can eat unmeasured portions without feeling discomfort. Soon the weight loss they were enjoying has stopped and weight regain begins.
Many patients will mistakenly blame their surgical stomach pouch thinking it has stretched out or is no longer working correctly. However, patients who return to a diet of lean protein and avoid drinking liquids with meals will quickly discover the uncomfortable pouch restriction still occurs bringing feelings of fullness with small servings of food. Continued compliance with the high protein diet eventually leads to weight loss once again.
For weight loss surgery patients protein is not always the most comfortable food choice because of the tightness that results following eating. However, for bariatric surgery to work correctly and sustain long-term weight loss and weight maintenance, a high protein diet void of simple processed carbohydrates must be followed consistently.
A significant number of people who undergo bariatric surgery for weight loss will at some point regain some of the weight they lost initially with surgery. Patients who stray from the high protein diet prescribed by weight loss surgery nutritionists to eat simple processed carbohydrates, called slurry foods, are likely to gain weight. Learn why.
By Kaye Bailey
This year nearly 250,000 Americans will undergo a bariatric weight loss surgery procedure that will alter the digestive system so significantly it will cause them to lose a dramatic amount of weight rather quickly as they engage in battle against obesity, the leading cause of preventable death in this country. Down the road a startling number of these same people will begin to regain weight and they will naively think the weight loss surgery has failed. In most cases the surgery has not failed: the weight gain can be blamed on excessive consumption of slurry food, something most patients were never warned about before going under the knife.
Slurry food, more commonly described as slider food,is a watery liquid food solution of simple processed carbohydrates containing scant nutritional value. The substance usually comes from crackers, pretzels, cracker snacks, popcorn, cheese snacks, potato chips or tortilla chips, or sugar-free cookies, cakes, and candy. The foods are chewed and washed down with liquids into the surgical stomach pouch where the gastric muscles churn them into slurry which slips directly into the intestine to be quickly processed and stored as body fat. Patients of all bariatric weight loss procedures including gastric bypass, adjustable gastric banding (lap-band), and gastric sleeve, are prone to weight gain if copious amounts of slurry food are consumed.
Surgeons instruct patients prior to weight loss surgery about the Four Rules of surgery. In short the Four Rules mandate a high protein diet, drinking lots of water, no snacking and following a daily exercise program. Masked between eating a high protein diet and no snacking is the unstated consequence that eating empty carbohydrate snack foods washed down with liquids results in weight gain. Bariatric surgery works to cause weight loss because it restricts the amount of energy (food) that can be consumed and in many procedures it inhibits the body's ability to absorb nutrients from food therefore disallowing storage of excess body fat.
After surgery many bariatric patients find the restrictive feeling following eating to be uncomfortable, yet it is the very nature of the surgical gastric pouch to cause a tight restricted feeling after a small amount of solid food has been consumed. This signals the patient to stop eating. Uncomfortable with this restricted feeling, many patients turn to softer processed simple carbohydrates or junk food that can be washed down with liquids creating slurry. The uncomfortable restricted feeling never occurs and patients can eat unmeasured portions without feeling discomfort. Soon the weight loss they were enjoying has stopped and weight regain begins.
Many patients will mistakenly blame their surgical stomach pouch thinking it has stretched out or is no longer working correctly. However, patients who return to a diet of lean protein and avoid drinking liquids with meals will quickly discover the uncomfortable pouch restriction still occurs bringing feelings of fullness with small servings of food. Continued compliance with the high protein diet eventually leads to weight loss once again.
For weight loss surgery patients protein is not always the most comfortable food choice because of the tightness that results following eating. However, for bariatric surgery to work correctly and sustain long-term weight loss and weight maintenance, a high protein diet void of simple processed carbohydrates must be followed consistently.
1 Year
This time last year I was anxiously waiting to leave for the hospital. It is hard to believe it has been one year. Today is a bittersweet day. I realize how SLOW I am losing and that I am still on the losing gaining roller coaster. My lowest would be -27 pounds. Today I am -20 pounds. I expected to be down way more by the year anniversary BUT I know I am the reason I have not lost more. I still have bad habits, I don't exercise, and I don't focus on getting my water/protein.
I am not giving up. I need a big kick in the a**! I am still emotionally tied to food. I have to exercise consistently. Once I work out a few days I enjoy it. It is always getting started. I have no excuse. I am being positive. Guilt and disappointment never works. I look at my -20 pounds as a victory AND not being above my highest as a victory. Before my surgery, I was on the road to packing on the weight. I know without my band my highest would be way above 240.
I am going to commit to blogging everyday! Maybe that will keep my eye on my goals. I would say my number one reason for eating is boredom and being addicted to sugar. I know I can do this, the question is will I?
I am not giving up. I need a big kick in the a**! I am still emotionally tied to food. I have to exercise consistently. Once I work out a few days I enjoy it. It is always getting started. I have no excuse. I am being positive. Guilt and disappointment never works. I look at my -20 pounds as a victory AND not being above my highest as a victory. Before my surgery, I was on the road to packing on the weight. I know without my band my highest would be way above 240.
I am going to commit to blogging everyday! Maybe that will keep my eye on my goals. I would say my number one reason for eating is boredom and being addicted to sugar. I know I can do this, the question is will I?
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