Perspective

 I am taking a 12 day writing workshop. Yesterday was the first day and I love it. We are becoming better writers to become better writing teachers. I signed up last summer but dropped it after a day. I was about a week out from my surgery and it seemed too much. I know know it had nothing to do with my surgery. My heart wasn't in it. I was bored by 10:00am and all I could think about was going home.  I wasn't ready to share my writing with others or to try different strategies with an open mind. I had nothing to write about.

This summer I have a lot to write about. I turn most of my free writing into a conversation with the Lord. It is a great group of ladies in the class. We love to laugh and also feel comfortable sharing. It is amazing what you see with an open mind!

I called my daughter's dad yesterday and offered for her to come be with him on Father's Day. I know at school this week they are talking about Father's Day and want her to get to see her daddy. Her Nan (great, great grandma) is turning 93 on the 30th. I also wanted her to be with her on her birthday. The bond between the two of them is amazing. I want my daughter to spend all the time she can with her Nan. For some crazy reason I thought Father's Day was Sunday and Nan's birthday on the 30th was THE FOLLOWING Thursday. I thought my baby bear would be gone 1 week. I realize now there is a week in between. She is also staying with her daddy July 10-21 when I go to Destin and have a workshop out of town. Her dad always wants to keep her a long as he can. He said he would give up Father's Day so she could be there for Nan's birthday, if I didn't want her to be gone from home so long. Of course, I said she can be there for both. It is hard because he lives 4 hrs away so she cannot just go for the weekend. She will be gone 2 weeks, home for 10 days, and gone for another 11  days.

I have to remind myself that it is not about me and what I need. It is about her. I know she is safe there, gets to see lots of extended family, and gets to form a strong foundation with her dad and his family. It is hard for her to be gone so long but it is no easier when I think of all her dad has sacrificed. Hard to say 2 weeks is too long even though you drive here for the day to spend an afternoon with her. 2 weeks is too long even though you have never had her on Christmas, etc. His job is flexible now. She has not started school. This is the time she can go spend a few weeks here and there.

Baby Bear has really been growing up. She will be 5 at the end of September. I am so glad she will not start Kindergarten until next year. She has been listening so much better and learning to just say OK when I ask her to do something. We have been working really hard on not "talking back" and how we cannot just throw a fit when we don't like something. I have been enjoying spending time with her a lot lately. We seem to have left some of the terrible 2's that were really 3-4's behind. I know school being out for the summer has given me WAY more time and patience with her. I am still amazed of the all consuming love I feel for her.