Accountablility

I did well yesterday. I got 70 grams of protein, 30+ grams of fiber, lots of water. When I came home, I had a small portion of lasagna. I could barely finish it. There was a distinct moment I thought I am done. I took a couple bites past that and ate the rest.

Then...
I had a huge bowl of Rice Krispies ( I added sugar) and some Baked Lays and before bed I ate icecream....a pint of no sugar added vanilla.  It is hard to be honest about what I ate. I am a closet overeater. Typing it helps me come clean and lets me realize how clearly what I ate was not someone who is trying to become healthy and lose weight.

I look back at the point I felt done eating and now know even one more bite leads to more and more. I am an emotional eater. I have felt, and acted like, a victim to food for a LONG time. I need to realize I do not need food. I can walk away. I also need to realize making great choices in the day is not ENOUGH. You can sabatoge yourself by what you eat at night. I need to have a no food after 8pm rule. It is at the end of the day, when I am exhausted, that I find comfort in eating and being lazy. My victim mentality wants to blame being stressed for eating crap.

I am a single mother and spend my day with 23 children...

REALITY is I will have more energy being healthy. I will be a role model to my students and daughter. I will become less stressed because I will not be on the horrible cycle of eat..feel guilty...eat...feel worthless...
I will realize the power in taking care of yourself. I will realize I must love myself enough to become healthy. I am the only one standing in my way.

Ok I am geared up for another day! Blogging really does help!!