I am not one of the banders that is not hungry after surgery. I do get hungry and I do crave food. I am an emotional eater. When I give into something I am not supposed to have I want double the amount. I feel guilty but I keep going. As I type, my family is making blueberry pancakes. I know I could eat 1 BUT I am not strong enough to just eat 1...yet! I do not feel restriction. I get full and, at times it is a really full feeling, BUT for the most part I know I can eat what I want. I have been having a bite here and a bite there. I know I am SLOWLY veering off.
I have not gained any weight BUT have not loss anymore. I am going to be strict the next few days and not allow my cravings and my desire for instant gratification to control me. I just paid thousands of dollars and I do want this. I know my weight has ALWAYS been a slippery slope. The only way to guarantee that I do not slip down is to get off the slope!
Old habits are not broken easily. I have to remember this is a journey with ups and downs, with moments of joy and moments of despair. If I stay true to myself, true to the band I will be just fine. I have to hold strong to my belief in the PROCESS!!
This next week I am going to be getting ready, basically shopping, for one of my dear friend's wedding. I am blessed to love the women I work with, the ladies on my 2nd grade team. One of them will be getting married Saturday. I am going out of town with my other teammates for the rehearsal dinner and wedding. I will have a weekend away! I do not even want to go shopping for what to wear to the wedding!
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