First Fill Ramblings

I am excited for my first fill today! I am hoping it will kick start my weight loss. I have actually gained 5-6 pounds since my 2 week post op appointment! I am working through the emotional aspects of "healing" and changing. I will continue to work on that part and I just need the band to be the physical tool. Every single day I have to recommit myself to my health, this process, and most importantly the Lord. When I seek the Lord, I do feel emotionally and physically stronger. I just keep getting distracted and letting temptation get the best of me. I have been eating things I should not. I have been eating in my car on the way somewhere and making sure no one will see the wrapper. I know that I have to change my habits or the band will not work. I do not have any restriction but that is NO EXCUSE. I have to set myself up for success. I have an addiction to eating. Eating is my outlet. I feel pathetic saying that but that is what has gotten me to here. I cannot and will not fail at this! I think there is a part of me that doesn't BELIEVE this will work and I have to change that! I know when I go back to work I will focused on my new students. Children put life in perspective and lift my spirit. I am going to dig deeper in my faith and actively serve the Lord. I need to follow my Lap Band guidelines and exercise and give the rest to the Lord. I know what I need to do. I need to put all my plans into action. I am a thinker but most of the time not a do-er. I am getting on my elliptical. I have downloaded new songs. Right now my favorite thing to listen to is Josh Turner. I love his deep southern voice and he is very easy on the eyes!