Hoping this is it!

I had a fill on Thursday. I am at 8.5cc in a 11cc band. I am definitely not too tight but if this restriction sticks around, I would have to say I am very close to my SWEET SPOT! I will have to see how I feel once this fill sets in. I cannot tell you how relieved I am to have some good restriction. I truly feel like I have the best tool now to get this show on the road. Just the past 2 days I have realized food is losing the importance in my life. It is hard when others want to spend so long talking about what we want to eat. I hate talking about it forever and then finally eating a very small portion.

I struggle the most at night. I have for years. I also have trouble sleeping all night. It doesn't help that I wake up through out the night. I have to train myself to not eat after dinner. That is my biggest challenge with being successful with weight loss. I do so well in the day and start grazing at night. I need to sit down, eat a small portion, and be done with it. My mom has said to put my tennis shoes by the elliptical and workout when I want to eat. If those were my only two options, I would most likely choose sleep over exercise. After a long day when I am tired and/or stressed, I just want to eat. I have to find something else that I run to. I go through phases of turning to prayer, The Bible, journaling, etc. but I always return to my long lost toxic friend.  Chewing gum helps. I literally have fallen asleep with gum before. I also feel like I am hiding what I am eating when it is late at night and it turns into a free for all. I need to be the most important person I am accountable to and no one else matters!

I have felt what it is like to not depend on food, put my health and fitness first, and eating to live instead of living to eat. Again, I just have to hold on to it and not allow little things to throw me off course!